Twelve is a Magic Number: an OA Blog of Recovery: March 2013

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Irrational and Self-Destructive

"As I look with complete honesty at my life, how have I acted in an extremely irrational and self-destructive manner where eating is concerned?" --Step 2, Question 1, OA 12 Step Workbook

I've made myself physically sick, pushing myself close to having problems with diabetes. I've caused myself to gain enough weight that my knees have had difficulty bearing my weight. I've found it difficult to do things that people of a more moderate size can do (like fitting into an amusement park ride, an airplane seat, finding pantyhose that fit well, finding clothes easily).

I've eaten so much that I've made myself constipated, and then still ate more. Once I ate so quickly I started choking, and then tried to take another bite while still choking on my last bite.

I've convinced myself I couldn't afford "healthy" food but then spent a ton of money on unhealthy food. I've hidden how much I've eaten. I've stolen food, putting myself at legal risk.

I've gone to a buffet before, thinking to myself "I bet these people think I'm just stuffing myself, but they don't know that I'm actually losing weight because I'm exercising." I've convinced myself on multiple occasions that I could be losing weight even though I was overeating.

The Twelve Steps of Overeaters Anonymous

We admitted we were powerless over food — that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs.